Have you thought about taking your relationship with God outside of school? I was in a high school that didn’t work out for me, and I began to see that it was having a harmful effect on the rest of my life and my religion. I took it back by telling myself that my observance and life, is and will be, independant of my school. In school, I formed a kesher with the one Rabbi who understood me, and followed his guidance in what to do in many matters, and he made the politics going on in school much easier for me, and let me have my way over how everything was going to work with myself. Out of school, I attended local programs to build a better connection with God and reinforced into myself that my experience then was in no way proper Judaism and it does not reflect on the rest of the world. I did whatever I could to make the rest of my time there work, and then at the first opportunity, I got out of there.
It appears to me that you feel misunderstood and judged by your school and home. You get criticized for the smaller things in life, such as open buttons and hairstyles, and the bigger issue that you’re not happy where you are (and the like) are completely ignored by your school, your parents and others. It also sounds like you don’t feel like yourself at Bais Yaakov, and you put on a facade of a “Bais Yaakov Maidel,” just to get by and have friends. So it may be time to do what you can to carve out a proper life for yourself with appropriate (appropriate being relative) influences outside the Bais Yaakov “community.” Find a mentor that understands you, and you feel can guide you in the right direction. Surround yourself with friends that care for who you really are, and will help you create a proper life for yourself. Make sure you’re able to have your own world that will allow you to move on. Once you’re there, it will be much easier, and you’ll be able to take the next steps of going to a better place.