It is an absolute Halacha that you need to consume something hot during the daytime on Shabbos. This is a Chiyuv established by the Chachamim to counter the Tzedukim who believed that it is assur to eat hot food on Shabbos day.
Cholent is not part of our Mesorah.
It began in times of abject poverty as the cheapest way of fulfilling the Halacha of eating hot food, as well as the Halacha of eating something fleishig (throw in one bone, and everyone gets some beans, barley, and potatoes).
Currently, cholent holds cultural status as something “we do,” but that’s all it is.
Maybe it’s obvious to some that this whole thread is a joke; I certainly consider it so. However, the fact is that we should never joke about our Mesorah – it is the single most important part of Judaism.