Torah: Awwwww 🙂 Thanks, I seriously needed that.
I’m actually sick right now, so this isn’t going to be very good, but just as something for Torah to bounce off of and to prevent this thread from dying an ignominious death:
Eliyahu Rainden shuffled through the employee profiles again, and he always seemed to come to one- Rivky. And then he had that thought again, and he sighed.
Why had he sounded so eager to have Rivky go out with that deadbeat Bereishis? He’d been planning the whole weekend to get Mrs Norrisberg to suggest a shidduch for her with HIM, and then he has to trip up and sound so thrilled about Rivky and Bereishis. Who’s a nice guy, REALLY, he supposed, but SO WHAT?
Rhghlorisehygfrie. Not fair.
And now, he probably wouldn’t be able to do anything at all about it- Rivky would end up analyzing coffee for sweat her whole life, married to Bereishis, with his million-watt prizewinning smile grinning at her every day- while he, Eliyahu Rainden, was sitting in prison for leaking to the press all about how the government was peering into their lives, every single day.
And handing the information over to a Russian-Iranian-Israeli group deep in the jungles of Africa, run by Mohammed McDonald-Mc Veigh.
Who was passing all the information to his wife, Mrs Norrisberg.
Who was using that information in her bid to become the Most Successful Shadchan Of All Time.
Imagine, having the personal emails and telephone conversations of millions of Americans! You’d never have to worry that the references were hiding the guy’s explosive temper or the girl’s mole on her left pinky toe!
But Eliyahu Rainden wasn’t going to stand for that. He wasn’t going to let Mrs Norrisberg make that shidduch between Rivky and Bereishis.
How would he escape prosecution, though?
Hey! Why not go to Israel! With the Law of Return, there would be no problems or international scandal at all!