InShidduchim.com: Is That the Jewish Way?
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February 10, 2013 3:48 am at 3:48 am #608135recipesMember
My daughter is going out and she just recently started Spending a lot of time on this new website. I’m not sure if its healthy…shouldn’t girls be confiding in their parents as opposed to taking Advice and chizuk from random ppl online?February 10, 2013 3:51 am at 3:51 am #1216384
No, random people online are many people, so some of them will have good advice. You only have 2 parents, so the chances are pretty high that both of them will have bad advice.
For example, I once met a parent who wanted to know if it was normal to get advice from random people on the internet. So he asked some random people on the internet for advice about that. Is that the type of parent who you think should be giving advice?February 10, 2013 3:55 am at 3:55 am #1216385Yserbius123Participant
Did she just start going out? Then bad bad bad bad bad idea. Has she been going out for 3+ years? Then maybe.February 10, 2013 4:06 am at 4:06 am #1216386
I have never visited this website. I cannot stand shidduch agony fests.February 10, 2013 4:18 am at 4:18 am #1216387
I have never visited this website. I cannot stand shidduch agony fests.
How would you know that’s what it is, if you haven’t visited.February 10, 2013 4:20 am at 4:20 am #1216388
umm so why are random ppl on the internet givng U advice? and nah she prob shudnt do it but its better than from her frends which cud be disasterous.. imagine someonoe beng like ohh him?? noou x go out w HIM!! she cud mean well and this girl will never agree to go out w him no matter wat amazing info her parents find out..February 10, 2013 4:32 am at 4:32 am #1216389recipesMember
Excuse me everyone. I think there is a big difference between decisions that could affect your whole life……February 10, 2013 4:36 am at 4:36 am #1216390
PBA: Now that I’ve given it fair play, I’m scared of saying LH. Check out the forum titles…February 10, 2013 4:48 am at 4:48 am #1216391
It is absolutely the Jewish way to meet a Shidduch thru a Jewish dating site.
As far as using it in lieu of a mentor, get yourself a live mentor, even if you end communicating with this life mentor over e-mail or telephone, and even if this mentor who knows you is in Israel and your in the USA, or vice versa. But the mentor has to be familiar with your situation and circumstances, and be someone whom as soon as s/he hears from you, will immediately know where you left off last time you touched base, and needs no recapping each time you touch base.February 10, 2013 4:53 am at 4:53 am #1216392
147: It isn’t a dating site.February 10, 2013 4:55 am at 4:55 am #1216393
147: Yes, my bubby met my zaidy on a jewish dating website.
Were you being serious?February 10, 2013 4:57 am at 4:57 am #1216394
Go join and troll them lolFebruary 10, 2013 4:59 am at 4:59 am #1216395Bar ShattyaMember
Excuse me everyone. I think there is a big difference between decisions that could affect your whole life……or your child’s life.
Children are a dime a dozen. And to quote Bill Cosby “I’ll kill you son, I can make another one that looks just like you.February 10, 2013 5:06 am at 5:06 am #1216396
Your grandmother met a husband on a dating site? That’s progressive for a woman that age. I’m assuming shes at least in her low to mid 60s. Very cool!February 10, 2013 5:10 am at 5:10 am #1216397avhabenMember
WIY: Read that again. Her bubby met her zaidy on a dating site.
It was the pre-historic version of frumster.February 10, 2013 5:11 am at 5:11 am #1216398
WIY: I was joking. One set of my grandparents met in the subway (or whatever the equivalent was) and the other set met in an immigration office. 🙂 So no internet dating.
147, I look forward to your explanation of that statement.February 10, 2013 5:19 am at 5:19 am #1216399
Ah the good old days bsc (before shidduch crisis)February 10, 2013 6:12 am at 6:12 am #1216400
i think the whole systems insane… between the pressure 2 go to bjj and then sara schenirer (where i wud never in my life go to!!).. in the olden days it was soo much more simpler.. they had like 3 dates in the olden days, now we have anywhere bet 8-15!! talk abt suspense!!February 10, 2013 9:25 am at 9:25 am #1216401snowbunny3318Member
I feel like we need to have more dates these days because things are a lot more complicated when it comes to shidduch dating, especially with things like the economic crisis, more genetic diseases (or at least, there is better testing), there are more seminaries these days than before, so there are enough seminaries to match a girl’s specific hashkafa (most of the time…) and stuff like that. Plus the non-Jewish media and society can have quite a bit of influence over us as well.February 10, 2013 10:55 am at 10:55 am #1216402rebdonielMember
As a sociological exercise, I checked that website and found out why there are so many people not getting married.
For starters, one post said that a guy who wants to become a kiruv professional is dangerous, that the desire to do kiruv is a warning sign, that such a guy has extreme behavior, wants to leave klal yisrael, etc. (To boot, they say that Shalom Task Force says this- I thought they dealt with domestic violence. Since when is kiruv in the same category as wife-beating?) This is a sad, venomous post against kiruv rabbis. I know many, and they’re the most beautiful, heilige neshomas and kindest souls I’ve ever met. They turn nobody away, open their homes to all who seek nourishment, physical and spiritual, and bring HaShem’s Love and Torah to a world in need of it. One of my dreams in life would be to take a few years out and learn in Aish haTorah and get a Jewish Studies degree and to do kiruv on the university circuit.
Another excoriates guys that never learned in Israel. There are tons of good yeshivot in America. How is not learning in E”Y a pagum against a guy?
Another slams a guy who watches the SuperBowl; I went to a SuperBowl party at an Orthodox shul (the proceeds went to tzedakah) and we participated in the HalfTime program from YU.
It seems that conformity and a lack of balance are popular. Makes me glad I chose to become part of the MO community while adhering to a higher standard of halakhic practice and availing myself of yeshivish learning.February 10, 2013 2:27 pm at 2:27 pm #1216403nishtdayngesheftParticipant
Am I the only one rolling from laughter about someone asking advice anonymously on a web site about whether one should seek advice anonymously on a web site?
Worthy of pba.February 10, 2013 4:24 pm at 4:24 pm #1216405gefenParticipant
Nishdtayngesheft: My thoughts exactly!!! +1,000,000,000February 10, 2013 4:26 pm at 4:26 pm #1216406yitayningwutParticipant
For example, I once met a parent who wanted to know if it was normal to get advice from random people on the internet. So he asked some random people on the internet for advice about that. Is that the type of parent who you think should be giving advice?
Brilliant 😀February 10, 2013 5:22 pm at 5:22 pm #1216407golferParticipant
Nishtdayng, I hate when I ask a question and nobody gives me a clear answer.
So I will answer yours.
No.February 10, 2013 6:05 pm at 6:05 pm #1216408
poppa_bar_abba & torah613613torah:- Sites like Frumster now renamed JWed and Orthodate, are dating sites.
Since the topic of this forum was the usage of computers, my remarks were very relevant, although I explained based on my sentiments, that computers are great to find a mate, but once specific questions arise, a computer cannot fulfill the role of a mentor.
In other words, if I wasn’t clear:- A computer can yes replace a Shadchan, but cannot replace a mentor.February 10, 2013 7:25 pm at 7:25 pm #1216409
147, inshidduchim is a specific website, and it is not a dating website.
Meeting someone on a dating website, while not a bad idea, is hardly traditional.February 11, 2013 12:20 am at 12:20 am #1216410
Meeting someone on a dating website, while not a bad idea, is hardly traditional.
But having a Shidduch crisis and an unacceptable proliferation of old singles is even less traditional, so given that Jewish Dating sites are aiding in alleviating this intolerable scenario, it is very traditional to resort to whatever removes bachelorhood/spinsterhood and increases marriages.February 11, 2013 1:16 am at 1:16 am #1216411
poppa_bar_abba & torah613613torah:- Sites like Frumster now renamed JWed and Orthodate, are dating sites.
I think what you mean to say was: Oh, I wasn’t familiar with the website. Disregard my comments please.February 11, 2013 2:37 am at 2:37 am #1216412
I think this is a typical example of a parent being a hypocrite. Then they wonder why there kids don’t trust them?!February 11, 2013 11:46 am at 11:46 am #1216413interjectionParticipant
“I think this is a typical example of a parent being a hypocrite. Then they wonder why there kids don’t trust them?!”
It’s an entirely different situation. OP was more-or-less taking a poll, something which is generally done of anonymous strangers. On the other hand, she was asking if it’s healthy and wise to take life-altering advice from a stranger who knows almost nothing about you.February 11, 2013 7:21 pm at 7:21 pm #1216414
Sorry I guess I’m just overly sensitive on these things. Probably bec. of my parents. (Hope my parents don’t see this)
What do you think you’re doing on the internet?
-your parentsFebruary 11, 2013 8:11 pm at 8:11 pm #1216415apushatayidParticipant
is it the torah way to anonymously slam other people?February 12, 2013 2:34 am at 2:34 am #1216416
Ha! That’s a good one!February 12, 2013 8:12 pm at 8:12 pm #1216417big mamaParticipant
OMG that’s funny heythere did the mod add the bold to your post or did you add it?February 13, 2013 1:15 am at 1:15 am #1216418
Oh I didn’t even notice that.
It is pretty funny.
Who knows what else the are adding to people posts 🙂
Any time a mod edits a post, you will see a message in bold.February 13, 2013 2:36 am at 2:36 am #1216419HealthParticipant
BS -“Children are a dime a dozen. And to quote Bill Cosby “I’ll kill you son, I can make another one that looks just like you.”
The quote I remember from him was -“I brought you into this world and I’m going to take you out.”February 13, 2013 3:36 am at 3:36 am #1216420
He could have said bothFebruary 13, 2013 7:55 pm at 7:55 pm #1216421
I just googled it and he actually did say both.February 14, 2013 1:51 am at 1:51 am #1216422big mamaParticipant
I guess even comedians reuse stuff sometimes.February 14, 2013 3:07 pm at 3:07 pm #1216423☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
Any time a mod edits a post, you will see a message in bold.
Why can’t a mod just write his own post?
Because it’s easier this way.February 18, 2013 3:58 am at 3:58 am #1216425
haha i just saw that this inshidduchim website is being advertised on yw!! lolMay 27, 2013 3:55 am at 3:55 am #1216426hmmm613Member
Does anyone know who is behind this site?May 27, 2013 7:09 pm at 7:09 pm #1216427
No, but it’s a nice site.May 27, 2013 7:13 pm at 7:13 pm #1216428
thanks for bumping. excellent threadMay 28, 2013 1:40 am at 1:40 am #1216429
People, let’s remember that some people aren’t to bright as to know what to say to the person they might actually marry… This website is HIlaRIous!May 28, 2013 6:59 pm at 6:59 pm #1216430tzupMember
Care to explain?May 28, 2013 9:32 pm at 9:32 pm #1216431
Sure, in other words if everybody had common sense this website would not be needed.May 29, 2013 12:38 am at 12:38 am #1216432tzupMember
I don’t understand why is it any different then ywn coffee room?May 29, 2013 12:53 am at 12:53 am #1216433
“I don’t understand why is it any different then ywn coffee room?”
The people here are smarter and funnier.May 29, 2013 12:53 am at 12:53 am #1216434
If you don’t understand then it might be just the same
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