squeak, if you notice, I already said I didnt believe it was a way to force things on women. I’m just glad I am not satmar (or any other sect that doesnt let women learn gemara) because I dont know if I have enough faith in men for that. I have complete faith in Hashem, but humans are fallible and succumb to bad things. Religion (all religions, not specifically Judaism) has been used to browbeat women and slaves and other people forever. If I couldnt learn where my laws were coming from, I couldnt keep things with a full heart – how would I be able to seek out the fraud????
Intellegent – as for the equality in a marriage – equal does not mean exactly the same. It means the end result is the same. 4+2=6 but so is 5+1 and 3+3…there are different ways to arrive at the same point. So, with the deaf/blind analogy, you teach them both to communicate, each in the way that makes sense for them. It doesnt mean they are less “equal,” just that they arrive there at a different way. Does that make sense? Maybe some people are content to being in a marriage where they are not equal partners, but I wouldnt. I need my husband to know that he can lean on me for strength when he needs to, the same way I lean on him when I need to.