Oomis, I have great analytical skills. We learned to take apart mefarshim, figure out what the kashe was, etc. But I always feel I have to sit this discussion out. Personally, I would NOT get the type of geshmack out of learning that the men I know do. My husband can decompress after work learning whatever daf comes next, no matter how dry. The type of learning or shiur that would enable me to decompress would be much more hashkafa and goal oriented. And my husband thinks it’s just great to raise a great kasha. I HAVE to know the answer. Not that I don’t accept that there are unanswered questions in olam hazeh, of course there won’t be answers to everything. But when I am learning something, I like to leave as few loose ends as possible.
I really think that this is part of the male/female dynamic. And I also accept that there are other sorts of women. Some have agendas. Then, there are some yechidos who go through life feeling like the proverbial square peg because they can’t find their place. I really have compassion for them. Then of course there are women who really could learn gemara but like me, either don’t want to, or don’t need to, or have reconciled themselves not to.
It’s why I have a hard time flat out condemning learning for women. But I honestly believe that a lot of the learning that women do is agenda driven, and superficial. My sons had serious preparation to starting gemara in middle school, flash cards, proficiency in Rashi, a few years of mishnayos. I don’t know where my BY could have fit in the time. (And BTW, the boys are DEFINITELY losing out by not having the grounding in Tanach and dikduk that the need, but that’s a whole nother thread.)