The little I know, I agree with you wholeheartedly. When I read these threads and imagine those boys as my grandchildren it only reinforces my gratitude for living in a Torah community that teaches exactly what you speak of (and we don’t witness so many of such things complained about here, B”H) and pushing for shidduchim who understand the detriment to the chinuch of children growing up in environments with these (and other) types of distortions.
Whether or not Joseph wants to see the light – all the fresh milk in the world will not make the spoonful of sour milk added stay fresh. sorry.