Bochur 2.0 – this is not an answer to your question, but I really think that you should read Just One Jew by Moishe Mendlowitz.
Aside from the fact that everyone should read it, I think it would give you a lot of chizuk.
It’s a fantastic book, and it’s easy and enjoyable to read. It’s about a guy who went OTD in the days before that was common, he was completely OTD for app. 13 years (almost married a goy, etc.), but did a full-turn around, and Boruch Hashem eventually got married (although he did have a hard time in shidduchim – as do many people, for that matter) to a wonderful baalas teshuva.
It doesn’t exactly answer your question, but it could give you chizuk.
And maybe that would be a good idea for you – to date baalei teshuvas? There are certainly many wonderful baalei teshuvas around.