OP: Why the obsession trying to insure your ex isn’t honored or invited to simchas? It’s time to leave your bitterness behind you. That means not being bothered if your ex is invited to a bar mitzvah or chasuna.
That above point is true even if your characterizing of him, as you described above, is all accurate. Additionally, your bias may be preventing you from seeing the past objectively in assessing whether that characterizion is accurate.