AJAnon: I’m sorry to hear about your ex’s abuse, but I’m glad to hear you’re remarried. May Hashem bless you and your family with shalom bayis and refua shleima from the abuse you all have suffered.
Regarding the title of your post: I highly doubt there are rabbis who regularly post in this forum who are asked shailas in real life (offline) — such people are too busy to be posting here. Consider asking your Rav or someone like R’ Shais Taub this question, if you feel you need an answer from someone qualified to answer it.
That said, I agree with LU’s second post. In any case, hatzlacha rabba!