The thing is though that I don’t see why this has to be a problem for you. You haven’t given any specifics regarding what you are talking about in your own life, so it is hard to give you “aitza”. However, I will give a few examples regarding what you may be talking about.
One thing you may be referring to is your own need to pursue a “secular” career. If so, I am not sure why you should find this to be a problem nowadays, especially since you live in EY where it seems to me that it has become even more acceptable for Frum girls to pursue various career paths and there are many Frum programs available in many fields. Since the Torah world nowadays encourages Kollel, by extension, it has become more and more acceptable for Frum girls to pursue “secular” careers. Since it is for the purpose of supporting their husbands in Kollel, you have the ??? ????? ???? aspect right there. And of course, you can also make sure to keep up your own learning while you are in college so that you don’t lose sight of your focus and goals.
If you are referring to your husband’s working vs. learning, I think that nowadays it is generally felt that the only way that one can get a strong base in Limud Torah and Avodas Hashem is by starting out in Kollel for at least the first few years. After that, if someone needs to go to work to support his family, that is a very big Mitzvah, and if he has that foundation in Torah from his Kollel years, he is more likely to be able to go to work while maintaining his focus on Torah.
I don’t know if any of this is helpful to you as I’m not exactly sure what you are asking. If you clarify a bit more, it might help.