Yekke2, thank you for your post.
You said so much that needed to be said.
One of our biggest problems today is our exposure to secular ideals until they become so entrenched in our minds that we think they’re OUR ideals too. We are appalled at the immodest images we might expose ourselves to when we use the internet, but we often disregard, at our peril, the poison seeping into our brains from our overexposure to secular morals and mindsets.
It sounds so nice and kind to say that we accept all people regardless of their lifestyles and behaviors. In fact the Torah does not allow us to accept deviant and heretical beliefs, actions and words, and we have to vocally reject them for the reasons you stated. Kvod Shamayim must be our top priority. Wanting to be tolerant to others doesn’t give us permission to Ch’v disregard that.
The subject of “yitamu chata’im” vs “yitamu chotim” is more complicated as you also mentioned, but the principle of firmly rejecting all forms of evil stands.