ZD – while what you are saying may be true, I think the issue is that it seems problematic to say that something that we read at the Seder every year does not apply anymore.
The whole idea of Pesach and the Seder is about passing on the Mesorah from generation to generation, so it does seem difficult to say that the way we are told on Pesach at the Seder to be mechanech our children and pass on the mesorah no longer applies. That is the antithesis of what the Pesach Seder is about!
I think though the answer is what I wrote earlier. We can’t say that it doesn’t apply at all, but we have to think carefully about when and how we apply it. There may be children today who seem like the Rasha in the Haggada but are not.
That is not a complete answer, but only the beginning of an answer. One still has to think about it and figure out how and when to apply it. One of the themes of the Seder is getting the children to ask questions. When I was a kid we had to take a test before Pesach called a “halacha yomis” test on Hilchos Pesach. I remember that half the answers to the questions were “so the children will ask”. I remember thinking about how illogical that was. If the point was “so that the children will ask” then there has to be an answer, so why weren’t we being given an answer?
But I think I just chapped. I think the point is that sometimes a question is better than the answer. I think this is one of those times.
I think this is a question that doesn’t have a simple answer. The answer is neither “Well, today it’s different.” or “No, our generation has it all wrong. We are supposed to be tough, etc.”
The answer is neither of those. The answer is that this is something to think about. Chinuch is not a simple thing. People are complex. Sometimes one must use one method and sometimes another. Each child is different and each situation is different. Don’t make assumptions, but rather, try to understand the person and where his question is coming from and what the tailor-made approach is for him.
Thank you Yekke for providing an excellent question.