I sure hope that my chosson doesn’t think he’s settling by marrying and that he considers me his “dream Kallah”, and I hope I don’t feel that I’m settling by marrying him and that I consider him my “dream chosson”.
My favorite line about shidduchim comes from a shiur I heard online from Rav Yitzchak Berkowitz. He said, “You are not allowed to settle; if anyone tells you to settle, tell them to go somewhere!”
Perhaps what people mean when they talk about settling is realizing that certain things aren’t essential and that your kallah/chosson is a wonderful dream chosson/kallah without those things. But I wouldn’t call that settling.