Rebshidduch, I very much appreciate your apology.
I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I really hope it gets better. I will try to daven for you.
I understand that it is hard for you to talk to anyone right now. But if you can try to find someone to talk to, I would think that would help you to be less depressed.
All the best, and best wishes for a Chag Kosher v’Sameach!