RS: sorry for the late response. Busy Yom Tom…
I was trying to be cute and tie in two things. Your emojis didn’t work because you didn’t space before starting them, and the system is programmed to consider a punctuation mark after a sentence with a parenthesis following it as part of the sentence, which it often is.
As to your shidduch issue, I’m suggesting you take a step back and not make a decision now, iow give yourself some space. All our advice is apparently falling on deaf ears, and you seem to be pushed in the opposite direction.
So instead of thinking it’s either him or not, tell him and yourself that you’re taking a break for say 1/2 a year, and afterwards you’ll reconsider your options. And do just that. Focus on your studies, your Yiddishkeit, strengthening your relationship with your parents and teachers/Rabbis etc.
A little time off dating won’t hurt you, and you can gain immense perspective.
Good luck and Gutt Yom Tov!