There are some musts that really are musts. When I was dating, I was advised to think about the 3 things I could absolutely not compromise on- notice, only 3. It was a bit of a challenge to do that- but it really clarified what I was looking for/needed. There were lots of other things on the list that did not make the top 3. Those were the icing on the cake- great if he had them, not a deal-breaker if he did not.
So to some degree, the list should be tossed, or at least not considered binding. But you do need to know who you are and who you are looking to marry, or else you can spend years dating just anyone and not getting any closer to actually marrying someone. In other words, you need to have certain musts, but be open-minded about how those musts are packaged. And realize that just like people change, the list of musts can change too.
Menu