I am constantly second-guessing myself (and third-guessing, and fourth-guessing…) and I keep allowing myself to be brainwashed by society that I must be too picky if I’m single, so I keep rethinking about guys I said no to and forcing myself to look into them again and asking aitzah if I should really be saying no to them…. and you know what? I keep finding out that I really have good reasons for saying no, and when I ask aitzah, I am told not to go out with them. Or in some cases, I do go out and realize that I shouldn’t have.
There may really be some people who are too picky. But there are other times when people are not too picky, and being single and saying no to all the crazy suggestions you get doesn’t necessarily mean you are too picky even though society thinks it does.
One problem that I have found is that I try not to speak L”H, so I don’t tell people why I am saying no, so they make assumptions and assume I am too picky.
That being said, there really may be some people who are too picky about things that really aren’t so important. I think this may be common with guys in particular. I don’t know what the solution is. I’m not against speed dating, but I don’t think it will solve the problem.
I think that it would be good if there were more ways that singles (over a certain age) could meet casually, but I don’t think speed dating works so well. I think that maybe people should have over singles for Shabbos meals.