Lilmod Ulelamaid: My intention here is not to come down on OP, not remotely, it sounds like she’s doing what she thinks is right, and I apologize to her if I was misunderstood because I wasn’t clear.
I’m coming down on the problem that when someone looks to understand, that’s what (s)he sees. This is a criticism of our society, not of her. The ridiculousness of someone trying to learn about tznius, and what she sees is little details of a chumra shel chumra, in some remote possiblity, a type of umbrella could be untznius, is insane. That’s not the spirit of tznius. And I don’t mean to sound neo-conservative at all, halacha matters more than the meaning of a mitzvah, according to a Gadol I asked yesterday, but there’s a certain point in chumras where it goes too far. And that fact that these things are blown out of proportion to the point that people lose focus about the meaning of what they’re doing. We talk the talk, walk the walk, and keep all the chumras, but do we know what the essence of what we’re doing is?