BMYer & TrueBT – regarding my comment about seeing what people are like in real life based on their conversations:
Maaseh #1: There was a certain guy who had been suggested to me many times. I had been told that he was very Torahdik, and he sounded like someone whom I would want to go out with. However, he always said no to me because of my age. I met someone who invited me to come sometime for a Shabbos meal, making the point that they often had single guys there. So I came one week and this guy was there.
I was shocked by a story he told at the Shabbos table. It was the type of thing that would have been questionably border-line appropriate in singer-gender company not on Shabbos. Under the circumstances, it was definitely not appropriate. And it had nothing to do with who he was talking to, since he had no reason to tell this story. Also, I was 1/4 of the people he was talking to.