“..to go out with the INTENT of getting married? Not to see if you “click” or are “perfect together” ?
Or maybe we have just been way too affected by western society and their portrayals of love, romance and..divorce…?”
I’m not sure who “we” are, and there are obviously many types of people. Personally, when I go out, I go out assuming that I will marry the guy (which is also why I don’t go out with everyone who is suggested). I do not go out waiting for lightning to strike or bells to ring or to see if I “fall in love at first sight” or something like that.
I actually think that I have been brainwashed the other way, and that I was made to feel that I am just supposed to marry anyone and not care if I like him or not. As a result, I ended up letting myself get pressurred into going out with guys I couldn’t stand for 4-6 dates. I think that was a really bad idea! The guys in those cases usually were almost ready to get engaged and had no idea that I couldn’t stand them, and it wasn’t really fair to them. On my part, I ended up feeling used, and it made me hate dating.
Over the years, I have come to realize that my approach to dating is wrong, and it does matter if you like the guy/girl and you shouldn’t let yourself get pressurred into continuing to date someone you can’t stand. It’s probably kidai to go out on a second date if you have no good reason not to, but not more than that.
Another thing that I have come to realize is that if I don’t like the guy, there is usually a good reason for it even if it’s hard for me to put my finger on it. And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten better at figuring out what it is. I think part of my problem was that I hate being judgmental.