DY
“but not against what he actually said,”
My arguments were mostly against what he said.
Here is his exact quote that stared this all: “We all should hope that we, like Rabi Akiva wished for himself, when our time to leave this world arrives we should be killed al kiddush Hashem.”
“which is basically the gemara.”
There is no Gemara that I know of that says we should all hope for that. And even R’ AKiva as you point out tried to avoid it too. Rashi brings the midrash that When Moshe Rabbeinu Saw Aaron’ death he said I want that. He didnt say let me get killed al kiddush Hashem.
“I just want to add that although it’s an interesting discussion, I think we need to focus more on living al kiddush Hashem before we can focus on hoping and waiting to die al kiddush Hashem.”
+1
In conclusion,I think thats what made me so uncomfortable about his position (and why I ma certain he doesnt actually mean it, although it is an interesting discussion)
We are a religion of Life. Ubecharta bechaim, Vechai bahem. The things we daven for over and over are chaim. chaim aruchim, chaim shel shalom etc, Zachreinu lechaim melech chafets bachaim, melech chafetz bamisah al kiddushc hashem. There are (Few) examples I gave where we daven specificly not to have suffering or nisyonos (like R’ Akiva had). There is not a single Tefila that Ican think of where we ask for the opportunity to be killed AL kiddush Hashem. There si no source that says we should hope for that. The gemara in question does not say that and does seem to imply that. It sounds like Comforting anguished talmidim, and yes to focus on the positive even in that terrible situation that R’ Akiva tried to avoid and would have avoided if he could. H couldnt avoid it so he accepted it with Ahvava. As we would hopefully do IF R”l we had no choice. But if we had a choice we would avoid being killed al Kiddush Hashem..
I dont think this kind of death focus is a healthy focus and is not part of our religion