I’m not a guy or a dating mentor so I can’t answer for the guys. I don’t even know if it holds true for all girls, since my experience is limited to the 1 time it happened to me. Not exactly a large sample size.
Anyway, you can’t worry about or really change other people’s dating attitudes, only your own.
Think of it as like the kids’ game Hot and Cold. You are wandering about trying to figure out if you are in the right place. At some point, someone will say getting warmer…hot..you found it. Hashem knows who your BShert is, and will make it clear to you (“hot”) when you are in the right place, which is why you will know when you get there. If you keep in mind that Hashem is in control and orchestrating things so that you will find your husband when the time is right, then it gets a lot less frustrating and scary. On that matter, you might find “Pinya’s Lamp”, a short story by Chaim Uri Gottesman (in, I think, his book “The Birdsong”) uplifting.
When I was dating, and davening, I used to wonder what I should daven about- should I daven that this particular shidduch work? But what if he is not good for me? What I ended up davening for was clarity- that it should be clear whether or not this shidduch was right for me, and that that realization should come as quickly as possible with as little pain as possible.
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