A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “What can I get you?”
He responds, “Just a fruit punch for me, I’m driving.” The bartender
says, “Fine, but you have to get in line.” The patron stops and looks
around, eventually saying, “I don’t see a punch line.”
How do you get a hundred Canadians out of a pool?
Say, “Would everyone please get out of the pool.”
I know a good knock knock joke, but you need to start it.
OK, knock knock.
Who’s there?
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says, “Moooo.”
The other cow says, “Darn, I was just about to say that.”
Two cows are standing in a field.
One cow says, “Hey, are you nervous about mad cow disease?”
The other responds, “Not at all – I’m a helicopter.”
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked
the bucket. He said “How far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
A polar bear walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have…………………. a beer”.
The bartender asks, “What’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I don’t know, I was born with them.”
A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bar tender here?”
Last night I dreamed that I was a muffler,
and when I woke up, I was still exhausted.
Why does a chicken coup have 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken sedan.