Syag, I think we can both agree that the middle road, as in most cases, is the best.
And the socks story does leave me puzzled. Socks? Maybe we just need to leave our kids alone. Sounds a bit excessive.
Shopping, I liked what you said but there’s one part of your post that I objected to. (Are you still riding a bus? Might’ve been a slip of the mouse.)-
Hashkafa and chumra are two very different things and there’s no equating the two. Hashkafa is your outlook on life, how you define various subjects such as you connection to HKBH, your connection to Torah, your identity as a member of klal Yisrael, the synthesis of ruchniyus and gashmiyus both of which are necessary parts of your life and impose different, sometimes opposing obligations and restrictions on your daily life. You get the idea.
Chumros are physical restrictions that go beyond the actual letter of the law (or Halacha) that are imposed for various reasons, most notably to keep us away from the point where we may come to transgress and commit an aveira. There are restrictions that some consider Halacha and other people classify as chumra, which is why it’s always good to have your own LOR to identify what’s what. A lot of practices that are part of the original subject at hand, namely tznius, fall into this category.
A practice is either Halacha le’Moshe mi’Sinai or it’s not. But Halacha is not a matter of hashkafa, or one’s own personal outlook on life. It’s a matter of studying the relevant sources, beginning with Torah Shebiksav and through the full body of Torah Shebe’alpeh, and coming to the correct conclusion, a daunting task best left to a Rav who has dedicated years of his life to the pursuit of this knowledge.
Chumros, or added stringencies, are a matter of minhag, family practices passed on through the generations, or minhag hamakom, those accepted in a particular location or community. A lot of the confusion today stems from the amazing advances in transportation and communication making the world a very small place and bringing together people from distant communities that in the past had very little to do with one another. We have unprecedented opportunities to come together in beautiful displays of achdus, and also unprecedented opportunities to become very confused as to how a G-d fearing, Torah observing Jew looks and acts.
Saying you reject a certain practice because it’s not in line with your personal haskafa is just plain wrong. Finding a Rav who will quantify and qualify observance of Torah and Mitzvos for you is a much better route.
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