Verbally abusive is a relative term and covers a wide spectrum.
He is obviously talking about seriously abusive. Not all verbal negativity is equal.
Dirty socks and dishes most likely include underlying passive agressiveness as a way of countering the spouse’s previous behavior
Most likely? Most likely, he did the same when he was a bochur.
it’s your attitude that is leading to an alarming divorce rate in our community
No, it’s your attitude that all misbehavior is equal which makes it nearly impossible to save a marriage. Both always have to deal with their issues, but when the abusive one is led to believe that it’s no worse than leaving socks on the floor, there’s little hope he’ll change.