To Avram in MD and JJ2020. There is not always a right or wrong. Your rebbi might be a malach Hashem, but perhaps you want to have a different marriage than he does? Perhaps he is rarely home, doesn’t cook, clean, shop, or help with the children. That’s perfectly ok and I sincerely believe that he and his wife can be genuinely happy with that arrangement. But maybe you won’t be. Or your wife won’t be. There’s no guarantee that two people will want the same things in a marriage, even if they did 10 or 20 years ago when they got married.
I’m not saying that wanting different things from a marriage is a valid justification to get divorced, but I think it’s a reasonable one. Remember that according to Beis Hillel valid justifications for divorce include הקדיחה תבשילו and according to R’ Akiva include מצא אחרת נאה הימנה. Can you believe that?! Would you approve of these “justifications”/”excuses”? Maybe these would be insufficient — or even “liberal” — reasons in your eyes, but they are reasonable to R’ Akiva and Beis Hillel.
All of these situations are terribly sad — people whose lives are upended, whose dreams are shattered, children hurt, and often it’s not because of any one person’s fault, maybe not either of their faults. Maybe they just fell out of love, or were never in love in the first place, and they want something else now. Maybe they’ll find it elsewhere, maybe not. Maybe they’ll be happier afterwards, or maybe they’ll regret it for the rest of their lives. If you were genuinely unhappy in your marriage, and sincerely believed there was no way you ever would be, and thought it was in yours and your spouse’s and childrens’ best interest to work towards ending it, I would be understanding, even if the mizbayech will shed many tears.