midwesterner,
Virtually exactly what Enough Divorces said.
No, it is the exact opposite of what Enough Divorces is saying. If each spouse is laser focused on what s/he is personally doing right or wrong in the relationship, and consistently maintains a perspective of the longer term goals of the relationship, then a healthy marriage is possible. But, in a world where there is no right and wrong, because even though you may have done something wrong, your spouse did too, so stop blaming because it’s canceled out, there is NO focus on personal responsibility. The spouses are laser focused on what the other spouse is doing rather than themselves, and that is R”L a path to destruction.
We frequently hear, “it takes two to tango”, but forget that that goes for good behavior as much as or even more than for fighting.