Syag Lchochma,
but I think a better description would be that nobody is free of some blame. Yes, abuse victims are not AT ALL to blame for the abuse. But within the MARRIAGE, there MAY be areas of blame to be placed on both parties.
I agree that that is largely the case; however, would you agree that bringing up the other spouse’s wrongdoings in order to parry responsibility for one’s own wrongdoing is counterproductive and harmful to a relationship?
She found out her husband had not only been going to counseling,
Wow, the fact that her husband was in counseling and she didn’t know is already a tremendous red flag, even before we read what’s below.
but that the thereapist recommended that he follow up on his feelings of being attracted to other men and “be true to himself” instead of stifling himself in a false relationship that wouldn’t be fair to anyone.
Obviously a counselor with the “values” of the secular culture, not frumkeit. It boggles my mind how some therapists give such direct, life altering advice, rather than helping the client achieve his stated goals (assuming he went to counseling to seek help improving his marriage).
Separate from the underlying attraction issue, is that really how you steer someone who is ALREADY in a marriage and just had a second child? Is that REALLY in everyone (or anyone’s best interest?) That therapist did a lot to convince him that he was hurting his wife by staying with her and that he should explore who he really is.
R”L