I can relate to you, because I was in a somewhat similar situation (although there is a definite difference). In my case, I grew up with Chalav stam and never considered taking on chalav yisrael. However, for my entire adult life, I happened to end up living in places where chalav yisrael was the most (or only) available milk, so I ended up only using chalav yisrael when it came to milk, but not when it came to chocolate.
At a certain point, when I was living in Lakewood, I thought that I should take on chalav yisrael because it seemed inappropriate to eat chalav stam in a community in which being makpid on chalav yisrael is so widespread.
But for several reasons, I decided that this was not something that I should be taking on myself. My reasons were probably similar to yours in the sense that I realized that this was something that I need right now and that it wasn’t good for my emotional health and therefore for my Avodas Hashem, to take this on myself right now. And if I want to work on something, there are more important things for me to work on.
However, there is an essential difference between my case and yours, which is the fact that you were already makpid on chalav yisrael. I think that becoming more meikel is very different from not going more machmir, and personally, I think that one should be very wary of becoming more meikel on something.
On the other hand, it sounds like you are going through a very hard time, and it is possible that this is something that you really need (and you also didn’t grow up with it – so it’s not like you are giving up something that you always did).
I once heard a Rav speak about the possuk: והסר שטן מלפנינו ומאחרינו – one has to be careful of the Satan both behind us and if front of us – sometimes the Satan tries to stop us from going too far, and other times he pushes us too far.
I have no idea (and no way of knowing) which one this case falls under. Only someone who both knows you well (or whom you can speak to) and who really understands the halachos can know which one this case falls under.
It does sound like it might be kidai for you to speak to another Rav. There is a big difference between ”heter shopping” and looking for the right Rav to answer a particular question (although it can be a thin line). Don’t look for a lenient Rav – look for a Rav who is both grounded in halacha and sensitive to emotional realities. Look for a Rav who won’t just tell you what to do, but how to do it.
If he doesn’t think you should stop c”y, he will give you an alternative (as DY suggested). And the alternative doesn’t have to be food necessarily. If he does think you should stop, maybe he will have an aitza as to how to do it in a way that is less of a problem.
Hatzlacha and Refuah Shelaima!