Chevre, let’s take another scenario. Reuven was raised in a home where they kept kosher, but weren’t makpid on chalav yisrael. He went to the right in life, choosing a lifestyle that is quite different from his parents. They don’t approve.
Now he is visiting his parents. His parents keep offering to out on movies for the kids, and they keep declining politely. It’s not easy. Now his mother serves the kids breakfast.
The milk is OU D, chalav hacompanies. Should Reuven increase the machlokes in order to be a baal nefesh, or should he rely on the heter? And if his mother went out of her way about bought heimishe milk and cereal, should he push further and insist on plastic keilim?
I have been told by many respected rabbanim and poskim not to look too closely when I’m in this situation. Hamayvin yavin.