MTAB,
No, it’s a whole lot of good points. Put yourself in the boy’s shoes if you are capable of empathy.
Wait, you’re asking me to show empathy, when while addressing potential discomfort for the young lady, you retorted that life is full of discomforts? And complaining about a young man’s hour long drive for a date is most certainly whining. Cry me a river! The commute for my first job was an hour each way, plus three miles of walking, rain, snow, or sunshine. The commute for my second job was also an hour each way of driving through brutal traffic. And guess what? Nobody gives out medals of valor for commuting. You want something? You have to work for it.
And at the end of the day, the young man made his own choice. He’s not a slave. He’s free to stay in the comforts of his home and look for a young lady who lives in his town. He chose to travel a longer distance in order to increase his prospects. The long drive was a known part of that choice.
Look at what I’m saying, the guy is doing everything.
The young man is free to do or not do whatever he pleases. All of the responses in this thread are simply suggesting what is polite and would make a good impression.
That is not good even for the date. It creates a situation where the girl is passive and passive people tend to be judgmental. They have nothing to do but judge. People need to be busy. Haimish dating leaves the girl with nothing to do but expect.
The funny thing is, the young women say the same thing. That they have to be and look perfect, and the young man judges them based on a short and superficial first impression. Stop making this into a male vs. female war, and just accept that dating is hard on everyone, and move on.
It’s amazing how everybody acknowledges the shidduch crisis but yet most are resistent to any changes in our methods, even though we picked up half of them from the goyim.
The shidduch crisis certainly does not bolster your argument. And what exactly did we pick up from the goyim? And rather than complaining about what is, how about sharing some ideas of your own?