@Lightbrite
It is always a pleasure to answer your serious inquiries. Death and burial is not a topic all are comfortable discussing.
There is much information that can be gleaned when visiting a family cemetery. I always wondered why my father OBM never observed the Fast of the Firstborn Erev Pesach. Afterall, he was the oldest sibling in his family and a male. His parents were married in 1919. In searching the extremes of the family cemetery a few years ago, I came across a small marker which was inscribed ‘Baby Family name July 12, 1920’. It was along the far fence hidden among weeds and brush. I asked his last surviving aunt about this (she was 104 at the time) and she told me that my grandparents had had a child (who lived only a few hours) the year before my father was born. They never discussed this with my father. My grandfather told my father that he was not required to fast. Dad assumed his mother had had a miscarriage prior to dad’s birth.
We have a family association that owns and runs the cemetery and keeps out genealogical records going back to 1823. Last year we went through the cemetery in Queens and the newer one in Suffolk County and made a list of names of those whose line had died out. When my eldest son’s youngest child was born he chose to name the boy for a first cousin of my grandmother who never had children and was not named for.