Being buried with Mishpacha

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    What’s the significance of being buried in the same cemetery as our loved ones or family?

    What happens if someone is unable to be buried near his or her spouse because of landscape burial technicalities, so he or she is buried alone somewhere else?

    Thank you 💓


    The advantage of family burial plots is for the convenience of those who visit the graves.

    We have a family cemetery in Queens for my Paternal mother’s line. When I go to visit, I can visit the graves of Parents, grandparents, great grand parents, aunts, uncles, great and great great aunts and uncles and assorted cousins.

    We pay much less to have the entire section taken care of by a landscaper each growing season that the cemetery would charge on a per grave basis.

    We were able to erect a massive family name headstone to which married last names are added, but all that is required for a new internment is a small footstone. This costs 1/4 of an upright stone per person.

    My maternal line is in 5 different cemeteries in the greater NY area. It takes two Sundays in Late August to make the ore RH visits. The deceased appear lonely, just one or two familiar names in huge cemeteries.

    I much prefer families to remain together.
    It also makes genealogical research easier.


    Mishpacha is too left wing for me. I’d prefer to be buried with Ami.


    Some Beis Hachaims have separate sections for kevarim of men and kevarim of women.


    I don’t think Mishpacha contains shaimos, so it doesn’t need to be buried.

    Little Froggie

    Another morbid one…

    and the answer is that family members enjoy each other’s company down there. They play and talk…. it’s more fun with family…


    i prefer to be buried with “zman” at the zman of buriel.


    Thank you CTLAWYER, RSo, Joseph, yehudayona, and Jakob for your thoughtful messages, and even humor. ☺☺☺💓💓💓🌼🌼🌼


    It is always a pleasure to answer your serious inquiries. Death and burial is not a topic all are comfortable discussing.

    There is much information that can be gleaned when visiting a family cemetery. I always wondered why my father OBM never observed the Fast of the Firstborn Erev Pesach. Afterall, he was the oldest sibling in his family and a male. His parents were married in 1919. In searching the extremes of the family cemetery a few years ago, I came across a small marker which was inscribed ‘Baby Family name July 12, 1920’. It was along the far fence hidden among weeds and brush. I asked his last surviving aunt about this (she was 104 at the time) and she told me that my grandparents had had a child (who lived only a few hours) the year before my father was born. They never discussed this with my father. My grandfather told my father that he was not required to fast. Dad assumed his mother had had a miscarriage prior to dad’s birth.

    We have a family association that owns and runs the cemetery and keeps out genealogical records going back to 1823. Last year we went through the cemetery in Queens and the newer one in Suffolk County and made a list of names of those whose line had died out. When my eldest son’s youngest child was born he chose to name the boy for a first cousin of my grandmother who never had children and was not named for.


    @Little Froggie
    they play and talk together…it’s more fun with family

    For years, during Chol HaMoed Pesach, when the entire extended family is at the CTL compound we have a poker game, playing for raisins and almonds, not cash. It is called the XXXX(family name) Memorial Poker Game and is only open to direct descendants of the family patriarch who arrive in America in 1868.
    Many a spouse has complained over the years that they should be included, their adult children are allowed to play, but not them,
    The standard answer is that when you are buried in the family cemetery you’ll be able to play until Moshiach arrives.

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