@joseph
“(You’re second reason about suffering less/quicker isn’t an accurate explanation for this Halacha, even assuming the point is correct — which is unlikely. Women don’t suffer less and aren’t quicker to offer to give up their lives.)”
I realise it’s not really fair to quote something without a source. I’m working on getting that source, I learned it in Rabbi SB Hertzels class. He’s the shliach of rosh pina and has many fascinating stories about his experiences with the idf and halachic priorities.
In the meantime, I should take offence at your opinion of Jewish women but I won’t because I just feel bad that you don’t get it. A Yiddishe Mame gives up everything for her children and the prime example is actually brought out in this week’s parsha by hashgocha protis in Yaakov Avinus discussion with Yosef about the burial of his mother :
He tells Yosef he shouldn’t feel bad that he’s asking him to bury him in eretz Yisrael which shows how special it is, while he didn’t do the same for his mother. The reason he shouldn’t feel bad is that Rochel herself was more than ready to give up the special privilege to be buried in the holy maaras hamachpela so that she would be there for her children in the future. Not just any children, but wicked children who were exiled because of their sins. She was buried in the way so they would come and daven by her kever and then she would be able to get the promise from Hashem of vshavu banim ligvulam.
The reason why only she was able to get it was because of her great mesiras nefesh in being happy to give up her own spiritual rights for the sake of her children. This is a Yiddishe mame.
See likutei sichos chelek lamed,Parshas vayechi, sicha beis, for the full shakla vtarya on the Rashi, as well as why men give the status of Kohen Levi Yisrael, while the women make the child Jewish. I think you’ll find it fascinating.
But even without a sicha, you should know what a mother does for her children and family and how she will give up what she should have out of compassion for others.
In the Yeshiva world you would know of the essen teg where the women would take their own meals if necessary, to feed the bochurim. Bh we don’t need to do that nowadays as Hashem has blessed us with harchava.