RebYidd23: By “very beautiful and a professional” I meant “looks like a model and has a career as a PA”. If you think the only alternative to that is “ugly and jobless”, instead of average-looking and with a lower-paying job, that’s your problem.
Joseph: Of course girls should work on their priorities and plan to contribute to their marriages, I never said they shouldn’t. I said girls may be put off if a boy has a lot of expectations for them and not for himself.
Shopping613: I hope to work at most part-time when my kids are young. IMO a lot of the substance abuse and OTD problems we have now are caused by kids feeling lost and unwanted because both their parents were working full time and expected schools/camps to “raise” them.
moshearyeh45: I was just suggesting it as a possibility, but it sounds like that’s not your issue. As for the problem of being set up, I hear. I’m a BT so my family can’t help, and shadchanim never seem to have time. Apart from keeping in touch to remind the shadchanim you exist, you can ask married friends if their wives know any girls. If the wives of any of your Rebbeim teach girls, they may know someone. If you daven at a shul that’s your hashkafa the Rav should know which families in his community have girls in shidduchim. Being invited out to Shabbos meals is a good way for more families to meet you so they can have you in mind if they hear of someone shayach. It can be uncomfortable to announce “I’m in shidduchim and this is what I’m looking for” to someone you just met, but without family help we have to do more hishtadlus.
Menu