In my experience, when I have been called about someone (even when not on the resume), I tell the caller whether I know the boy or the girl or just the parents. I was called by a relative about a girl whose family davens in the same shul that I attend. I told the relative that while I know the father and the girls’ brothers, I really did not know the girl herself. The relative asked me a few pertinent questions about the father and brother’s and called others for more information.
I was once asked about my friends daughters “how pretty is she”? My response was that it is not appropriate for me to answer such a question.
We actually list two sets of references on my children’s resumes: family and child specific.