ZD, oh my gosh, that’s TERRIBLE about the BT lady whose mother blackmailed her into participating in her brother’s mixed-marriage wedding. That poor woman! Can you tell us what happened in the end?
I need to get this off my chest: People who do kiruv, formally or informally, have a responsibility to promote independence of BT’s. If you have your little coterie of people whom you’ve ‘made frum’, but you keep them under your exclusive influence then you’re doing them a real disservice. Let them see how other observant people manage a Shabbos table or Pesach Seder; let them try a different shul or a different community. If you claim that you’re ‘just like family’ for ‘your’ BT’s, then you should be committed to caring for them (and their descendants) in perpetuity – not just that you’ll get all the honor and glamour of walking them to the chuppah and being invited to siyums, etc., but be ready to support them (financially, not just emotionally) if their families reject them or if they have other emergencies.
I’m not addressing anybody personally on this thread, I’m just speaking in general.