Screwdriver Delight, sometimes people do kiruv because they want to control ‘their’ BT’s. If you honestly want more Jews to keep the mitzvos and live a Torah lifestyle, then it shouldn’t be about you; therefore BT’s should be encouraged to build a network of their own, and not ‘belong’ to one particular kiruv family.
Daas Yochid, my point is that if a kiruv-er promises a potential BT “Oh, don’t worry, if your family can’t accept your new lifestyle, then we’ll be your family”, then that’s a HUGE responsibility. The kiruv-er might only be thinking of the emotional factor, but real family goes beyond that.
ZD, that’s sad, but thank you for sharing the rest of the story.
DovidBT, thanks for the analogy.