@Haimy
You want a rational explanation why so many girls are not finding a boy to marry>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I’ll give blunt and uncensored answers that may offend the community.
My children are aged 22 to 42 and B”H all have married. My youngest 2 (girls) married within the past 18 months.
#1 our daughters are NOT buying husbands. As soon as questions as to my income and how much I am willing to settle upon the young man, provide housing and how long I’ll support the couple/grandchildren while he sits and learns and expects my daughter to earn a living while keeping house and raising children…HE IS A REJECT.
If a boy wants to sit and learn until he’s in his late 20s, then he should not be looking for a wife. It is not her family’s job to support him in his endeavors. Let his family do it.
#2 My daughters are highly educated having both seminary and college and professional degrees and licenses. This knowledge and earning power makes them threatening to the Yeshiva bochur with no ‘real world’ experience or ability to make a proper living and support wife and family.
#3 Attaining college and graduate degrees and professional licences takes time and these girls are older than the boys when they seek husbands.
#4 the social stigma against marrying a girl a few years older than the boy is nonsense and should be discouraged. My eldest brother is 3 years younger than his wife. My eldest sister is older than her husband. Both couples are married more than 50 years. My two eldest daughters are both about 2 years older than their husbands…big deal.
#5 Time to get away from the professional shidduchin with endless shidduch questions and resumes. This makes marriage harder and creates false supply and demand. Let the mothers/friends/relative network do its job. They know the young people and the families best and know who is suitable or compatible much better than a shadchan with hundreds or thousands of names.
None of our children were married through the services of a shadchan. In fact, only one was tried when a daughter was going to Australia for an extended visit. The experience was horrendous. Every boy suggested was just looking for an American meal ticket and green card.
Our eldest son’s MIL went to summer camp with my wife and the ladies have been friends for almost 55 years. They realized the children would be a good match and made it happen.
2nd son was introduced to a neighbor of first DIL.
Eldest daughter was fixed up with male cousin’s roommate at Yeshiva.
Next daughter married brother of college roommate.
Youngest daughter ended up married to cousin of SIL.
My nephew married his sister’s sem roommate.
My parents met at summer camp in the 1930s. Dad was a counselor at the boy’s camp on one side of the lake, mom was a counselor at the girl’s camp on the other side. Motzei Shabbos the camp owner hosted get togethers under supervision for the staff to meet. They were married more than 65 years. Many of their staff friends met their mates this way.
Mrs. CTL and I had many mutual friends. I was on a bad date with one. She told me that I was not suitable for her, but she had a friend who would be a good fit. Turned out to be the future Mrs. CTL.
SO>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>ignore the age differential. Learn to network. If you or your child has a shidduch suggestion that is not worth a second date, don’t just say goodbye, consider if one of your friends might be suitable for the rejected person.
The crisis is not real, logistical problems and artificial roadblocks can be surmounted.
It is NOT about the money.