“How is the shidduch crisis widely described, ” ”
The shidduch crises is widely described as many single girls wating and hoping for a date (ie the back log occurs at step 4 that I laid out,) you sort of agreed and said 4-10, (ok so lets go in order 4 is the first step where the problem occurs ) The OP said the same “has a long list of girls 19-24 to go out with. Of course the youngest, more chashuv, beautiful, wealthy, etc. girls move to the top of the list”
As explained above the problem is not that there are not enough boys. (100 boys can easily date 110 girls) . Thus efforts to even the playing field by adding more boys that wont date the girls who arent getting dates is a distractor at best
“and how does it differ from reality?”
It doesnt.