Anybody remember the film “Gentlemen’s Agreement?” It’s from the 40s and anti-Semitism is the major theme. Yes, the taboo against marrying a Jew was strong (even if the Jew converted out), but it does seem to be gone if you’re not a white supremacist. Although at one time it was a status symbol for a successful secular Jew to have a blonde, WASP wife, from what I’ve seen the real driver is simply that people haven’t been raised with a real sense of Jewishness, and then go out in to the world where they study, work and hang out with non-Jews. I was asked by the mother of a high school friend who had married “out” what she had done wrong. I asked a few questions and confirmed that the family had done nothing “Jewish” to speak of since my friend’s bar mitzvah.
For the longest time the only serious argument against intermarriage in secular circles was, “It would mean Hitler won.” Now the involvement with Israel is being weakened by some of the current government’s policies, so the enthusiasm that lingered from the Six-Day War and the Gulf Wars has drained away. The Conservative and some Reform aren’t going to fade away any time soon, so it might be nice if we developed a friendlier attitude, not to them as anti-halachic systems, but to the individuals who identify, instead of calling them names and insinuating that they’re not really Jews.