Just to give another example of a recent conversation
A person made a glib comment about a mushulich collecting for his large family
The collector has numerous kids to marry off and came to America to raise funds.
The person standing next to me in shul said under his breath “well maybe you should have thought about that af Er the third kid or so”
Me , being the big mouth I am, argued that our job isn’t to judge the totality rather the moment. And this is a yid who is currently in need.
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