Cont.
Some time after I was married, I was wondering if this previously held conviction of mine by dating is a real Torah approach as it seems allot of the old fashioned shtetlach may have had these kind of marriages (complete with the nagging wife and abusive if am haaretz or porush type of Talmid chacham), and I was wondering if that was just an unfortunate symptom of harder times, or if only desiring a spouse you actually connect to is a symbol of non Jewish love marriage of ideology creeping into our world. So the following story cleared this up for me.