“Feminism has made us think that there are 2 kings in the home, that is a recipe for divorce. No organization has 2 ceo’s, the same goes for marriage”
Agreed. To understand how vhu yimshol bach goes together in a Torah marriage with women being referred to as his other half, or plag gufa in the Zohar, it is helpful to understand the difference between the brain and heart.
Both are equally vital and important ; a person cannot survive with missing either.
However if there is a conflict between the brain and heart, like, for example with the heart desiring a sugary treat, and the brain claiming it is not good for health, then the heart should follow the brain *because that is best for BOTH of them.*
In the Jewish home, the wife is the heart. She creates the atmosphere of the home, and imbues her family and environment with the heart of Simcha, emuna, bitachon, ahavas Hashem, Yiras Hashem, ahavas yisrael etc.
The husband is the brain of the home: he gives the spiritual guidance and direction for the family.
In a case of conflict, the husband should have the final say as he is better able to make decisions that are not influenced by emotion, but it is his achrayus to show and explain to his wife how this is for her best interests as well.
This is a Torah marriage. Not a king and slave. And not two battling kings.
A man and woman are opposites, eizer knegdo and only through their opposite inclinations and influence can healthy balance be achieved. (I can give examples on their opposite attributes and how they balance each other if desired.)