zahavasdad,
“Maybe it got lost in the post, but THAT was a subsitite for a negative reason not to go to a shul or not to eat from a hashghafa.”
Not only did I understand that, I also agreed with you. Maybe that got lost in my post 🙂 The only place I differed is that I personally think it’s fine to express the opposite – stating why you go to a certain shul, or keep certain food-based minhagim/chumras, etc. Someone who is secure in the correctness of his own practices shouldn’t have trouble encountering different opinions, even if they are more stringent. I do draw a line at bashing other Jews and their (halachically valid) practices.
“if you want to eat, Ill tell you what store I am going to and you can like it or lump it.”
That’s fine. There are many hosts, however, who do choose to accommodate their guests for kashrus, allergy, or preference concerns as much as possible. People can have peanut allergies, eat gluten free, eat yoshon, cholov Yisroel, pas Yisroel, or avoid artificial colors/flavors, sulfites, MSG, trans-fats, etc. Or maybe herring makes them nauseous 🙂