anisraeliyid – your post makes me feel awful. I worked in camp when younger and we were all paid. Our wages were lower than low but those were the wages we agreed to when we took the job. When my kids were camp age and people mentioned tipping I thought it was pure chutzpah. Tipping implies money beyond the salary. Which would be fine in a restaurant. But not camp. Camps charge $1600 to $2500 for 3 plus weeks (not 4 anymore). That is not a small number to any middle class parent and I don’t have anything close to that to spend on just one kid. But at a certain age it is imperative that they be out of the city in the summer.
After finding the least expensive camp, and agreeing to drive 10 hours to avoid a plane ticket I can’t afford, we proceeded to purchase excessive amounts of clothing. Both clothing that he could benefit from anyway (more underwear and socks), and clothes he will never touch outside of camp. Do you have any idea how much this can cost a family for just one child? Then camp is coming to an end and we receive an envelope for tips. Not an envelope for the waiter, 7 envelopes! 2 waiters, 2 counselors, one learning rebbe, one shiur rebbe, and the night seder rebbe. And then the recommendations for $40-$50 dollars each. There was no way we could come up with money like that after all of the other expenses, and for you to say that it was my achrayus, not the camps, and not your own (!) is unfair. If the camp believes you deserve wages, then they should pay them. Charging thousands for 3 weeks is no discount that would justify tacking on an extra $250 plus at the end. And if you believe you need a salary, then you should be working a job that pays one.
One year I held the envelopes until Chanuka and used money I got from relatives to pay the tips with a note of apology. The idea that there are waiters out there who remember years later which parents didn’t tip (as you stated) is humiliating. And sadder than that is the idea that you don’t see what is wrong with this system.
I cannot see any excuse for charging great sums for camp and then asking us to pay your staff (who I DO agree deserve plenty!) I also can’t understand the oblivious attitude of people who don’t appear to have a clue what life is REALLY like for most of the frum population.