Reply To: The world is in a state of Geula- and don’t misunderstand us!

Hi mammele welcome.

“Sorry but there is no official Chasidic standard of wearing all black or shades thereof for women I’m aware of in the US.”

Yes the chassidishe community has become closer to the BY look lately it seems. I went to a wedding in willi 6
years ago, and every single lady was wearing black or navy. More recently I went and there were very nice Aidel colours. That being said, the two communities I was thinking of are both outside the US where I have heard the official standard of one is as described, and another in EY where the women don’t wear makeup.

“And as was mentioned before, the Rebbe did push candle lighting for girls that were not Lubavitch. So I ask, if the world needed more kedusha, which IIRC was the reason given for this, why not increase tznius? Which is what most of the Jewish world has tried, but even they are unfortunately not as successful as they should be. Levels of tznius are lower almost everywhere than just a generation ago. (The only extremes I see are in Lev Tahor…). So I really don’t see which circles you are referring to.”

The Rebbe addressed tznius in many sichos addressed to everyone and especially in sichos/ letters / yichudusin addressed to women/ principals of girl schools etc. As rso noted, our Rabbanim aren’t happy that tznius levels have fallen due to the constant onslaught in society today, and are working hard to take educational measures to help. There are classes on tznius in elementary school, tznius clubs in some high schools, others also have classes, tznius motivational campaigns especially in the summer etc.

The Rebbe’s shitta was too require the highest standards as chassidim. The Rebbes standard is to start dressing fully tznius by three-years old and a day. I do this with my daughter and know many who do. This isn’t the norm even in the chassidishe world, and a lubavitcher friend of mine who asked a store owner in boro park how come they didn’t carry long sleeved shirts and knee covering skirts for three year olds was told “this is a boro park store, not a lubavitch store.”

Of course I’m sure there are others who do so as well but the Rebbe did expect a high standard.

As to why the Rebbe chose the BY look over the chassidish look: the Rebbe felt that ultimate tznius combines and expresses both dignity and beauty for a Jewish woman. All our Imahos were known both for their modesty and beauty. This is important as modesty – ok, we all learn about the kedusha it brings etc especially today when we are combatting the opposite trend, we are much more educated in this respect than in previous generations.

But beauty is also important both because it reflects who the woman is spiritually and her task to bring beauty to the home and Yiddishkeit etc, and also practically, that her husband should find her attractive which is very important as well.

The Rebbe felt that the BY look combined these two aspects best today, and that’s why he asked us to dress like BY. Although lev tahor to quote your example dresses very modestly, it is not considered tznius and even called the opposite of tznius because their odd look actually draws attention which is counter tznius. And the Torah way has been bnos Yisrael yafos hein from the imahos on. Dressing in garbage bags also doesn’t convey the dignity, royalty and honour that true tznius dress does and brings.

“What I find interesting in Crown Heights is to see groups of girls with vastly different ways of dress grouped together. While it’s nice to see everyone being accepted, there’s no way this doesn’t adversely affect the “frummer” ones. I realize this may be part and parcel of the Chabad shitta in kiruv, but I don’t know how relatively young girls can withstand these nisyonos.”

The Rebbe actually discusses in a sicha on this week’s parsha how Reuven knew not to take some of the wheat lying around during harvest season, and only pick hefker dudaim, even though all the rest of the neighbourhood kids did: when a child sees that his home is
different than others (as Yaakov avinus was), even other frum but more wordly homes – for example other mothers aren’t so careful with their tznius, but his mother is extremely careful with hers, other fathers play tricks with their business, but his father is a yoshar and ehrliche yid (the Rebbe’s examples), then the child knows that he is different even if his friends do differently. To the point that if another child or group of children display behaviour not appropriate for his homes standards, he will know these aren’t appropriate friends for him and will go choose others…