The question is, who defines how we’re supposed to show that hakaras hatov?
It becomes a sticky situation when I get yelled at for not caring because I don’t do their ideas of hakaras hatov. Because I don’t say a special prayer in my shmoneh esrei for soldiers and I don’t observe yom hazikaron I am not showing hakaros hatov. Because they get to define it for me.
Yes we are all responsible, for the Torah and the physical fighting. But when half the population is only doing half the work, we are forced to do the other half. Like I said before, if chilonim were going to study Torah 8 hours a day, I’d feel more comfortable sending my son out to to do physical army work 8 hours a day.