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klugeryid- the difference between playing with matches and being mechalel shabbos is this:
Playing with matches is a sakanah to the kid’s life and has to be stopped immediately. Like Avram said, its not a matter of discipline as much as it is a practical way to remove child from danger asap.
Being mechalel shabbos:
A. the kid didnt know, in which case its not “bad” because he didnt know and parent needs to teach him
B. the kid did know but doesnt care- so hitting him will not make him care, but maybe resent the parent and resent yiddishkeit. In today’s day bais din doesnt punish people for being mechalel shabbos.
Basically I am repeating what syag said.
Also I’m not a mechanech so I dont know if what Im saying is true but this is what I feel
In today’s generation the answer is love and acceptance and not violence or force. Unfortunately the kids can’t handle anything too strong today